Continuing the trend of lunacy for 2008.
"What's a ZJ?"
Cubs sell field name to Kotex, become Chicago Vaginas. Use money from sale to purchase contracts of Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Rafael Palmeiro, breaking the record for the number of steroid abusers on one team. The City of Chicago holds a parade for this event during the Sox playoff run because, hey, it's not like there's anything else going on. During the parade, Skullfuck gets drunk and is ultimately deported for indecent exposure and for not making eye contact (damn slanty eyes). After a 2-10 start, the Vaginas start showing Rookie of the Year in Kotex Field because no one there really watches the game anyways. Henry Rowengartner reinjures his arm, and the Vaginas decide to let him walk. Rowengartner then goes on to win the Cy Young four years in a row with a different team. Go figure.